Relief washed over me last Wednesday as I sat in the exam room and stared at the xray. The 2nd metatarsal bone in my foot had not been rebroken; I was experiencing strain pain. The podiatrist warned me that I was doing too much, standing all day on concrete, and stated that I needed to sit fifty percent of the time, or else I would run the risk of rebreaking it. I didn’t argue; I was just relieved that I didn’t have to go back in the boot and, consequently, back on medical leave.
The evening before had been fraught with worry-filled thoughts after talking with the nurse.
“You might have to go back in the boot again. The doctor says you’re doing too much,. He wants you to come in tomorrow and have another x-ray taken,” she had warned. Her words were terrifying.
You see, I had just made the difficult decision to replace my heat and air system and prior to this, I had been on a seven week medical leave. All I could think about Tuesday evening, was how in the world would I be able to stay financially afloat after shelling out a chunk of money and now, possibly facing being out of work…again. Round and round my thoughts swirled. I reminded myself that God has taken care of me thus far; He wouldn’t abandon me now. But then I found myself second-guessing my decision to replace the entire heat and air system; imagining worst-case scenarios of other major expenses ocurring; thinking of ways to bring in some income should I be put back on leave.
And then, I stopped. The anxious thoughts disappeared into the background and in the forefront came these words, “ Why are you worrying and being anxious? Is it going to do you any good?”
I realized then that it wasn’t doing me any good to worry and fret. Anxious thoughts only breed more anxious thoughts, so I looked up and said, “God, I made the best decision I knew to make. I trusted that You guided me and now here I am facing the possibility of being out of work. But I’m not going to worry about it; this is Your problem.” Mentally, I wiped my hands and walked away. The peace that flooded over me stayed all through that night and into the next morning.
As I drove away from the podiatrist’s office, my heart was full of joy with the good news and I couldn’t help but sing as I once more witnessed how God truly does care for every detail of our needs!
There is relief in relying on God.