Today is Valentine’s Day in America. For some, there is great anticipation in giving the one they love that special gift and card; for others, it is a hurtful reminder that the one they loved is no longer by their side. Others see Valentine’s Day, along with the long string of other holidays, as a money-making scheme. Maybe the latter are not too far off because, according to a February 2020 article in globalEDGE, consumers were expected to add $27.4 billion to the economy. That’s a lot of money for just a 24-hour period of time.
Despite the outpouring of money on Valentine’s, I would guess that each of us know of one couple in our sphere who have experienced a broken relationship. Yet one site I visited stated that divorce rates have been on the decline since 1970, according to CDC data, though the author contends that gathering such data is quite complicated and the fact that cohabitation is on the rise has to be accounted for, as well. Whatever the statistics, just listening to those around me has indicated that there is confusion about love.
I know for me, my younger self struggled to understand what love looked like.The attention of a young man was flattering; the feeling of butterflies felt strangely good and made me feel better about myself. Without realizing it, I had equated having a man’s attention as being love and and I allowed that attention to determinine the value of my self-worth. It was not a recipe for success. As I grappled with the pain of not feeling good enough in my marriage, I slowly began to realize I had had it all backwards.
After years of prayers and tears, it slowly began to dawn on me that my self-worth lay in the fact that God had created and loved me, rather than in the approval of people. As I grew to see more and more of how He was providing, and had provided, for all my needs-spiritual, physical, and emotional- the old tendencies of looking to others for affirmation began to slip away. Love began to take on a new meaning for me. It was no longer about acceptance and attention but about being at rest with the one you love. I learned to rest in God’s presence and discovered through His acceptance of me, my own acceptance of myself. I now had no need for someone to fill an empty void because I had allowed God to be in His rightful place in my life. I was finally comfortable with who I was and in being single for the rest of my life.
With that being said, we all long for a companion and certainly there is nothing wrong with that! But, oh, how much richer the relationship is when one’s heart has the proper priorities in place! The joy, peace, and calm assurance that results from God’s given order, brings healing to the heart rather than pain. That’s not to say there will never be conflicts and challenging times; the one we love will disappoint us at some point, but how much less likely each will be to cast arrows and intentionally hurt the other.
As you enjoy your Valentine celebrations, I pray that you will especially bask in the love of the One who created you and calls you His own!
Oh, and here are some fun science facts about falling in love. Enjoy!
Images: Pixabay on Pexels
OneMunchingMomma 
Very good reflections on love.
We do tend to do as you’ve described—equates our self worth with someone “loving us”. And it does feel good when someone loves us. But people are only human, and sooner or later, they will disappoint. That can make our self worth even worse.
So much prayer is needed to learn our worth for real. You are so right in saying that only God can give that.
Wish it wasn’t such a hard road of pain that teaches this sometimes.
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I wish the road wasn’t so hard, too. But sometimes that hard road is what is needed to bring someone to a more desirable place in his or her life.
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I hope so in every case I’m thinking of.
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Me too!
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