For the past three weeks I have been banned from working and I can’t exactly say I was devastated when the podiatrist gave me the news. Instead, my mind began swirling with the decisions I’d been wanting to make about writing that this time would allow me the opportunity to do.
You see, the work I do to pay my bills is not my dream job, by far. Instead of doing the hard task in high school of narrowing down my interest of writing to career possibilities I, instead, daydreamed my way through high school about the man who would sweep me off my feet, marry me and we would happily raise a family together. End of story.
Here I am, thirty-two years later and, while I did get married and have two kids, it certainly wasn’t happily-ever-after. I went back to the company I had worked at before kids and almost four years later, here I am, a production technician which is a nicely-packaged way of saying production worker. Day-in, day-out, the same repetitive work that is both boring and liberating. At times, I feel like a caged animal, pacing back-and-forth, maddened by the possibilities on the outside; possibilities I could have explored when I was younger.
Yet, at the same time, it is liberating because quite often, I can mindlessly focus on the task at hand, thus rendering my mind free to roam.
But even that comes at a price. While my mind creates and dreams, the caged feelings intensify because of lack of time to actually pursue what is swirling in my head. As time continued, work began feeling quite constrictive, exhausting and mind-numbingly boring. I desperately felt the need for a break, a break to think and act.
Thus when the doctor gave me the news, I hardly knew what to think about having so much time. But I did know one thing, I didn’t want to waste these three weeks. In desperation, I prayed for God to show me which direction to take my writing-Copywriting? A writing degree? Book writing? Blogging?
As always, He didn’t fail me. As one day passed, then two, the desperation I felt increased. Fears of, once more, repeating my past tendency to indecision and narrow-mindedness and ending life with mediocrisy, plagued me. But I chose to trust and by day three, clarity ruled.
The long-debated question of how to use my passion for writing is finally settled. These past three weeks have been a very satisfying time of blog writing, learning about writing, and revisiting a story started. As I consider whether to get a Bachelor’s in English, or simply learn everything I can as I write, I do know one thing-it’s not too late to pursue one’s God-given purpose. One-step-at-a-time, He leads and with it comes peace.